Célebrating The Célf By Consuming Célebrity Shampoo

The Don't Buy List: Issue #67

Hello and welcome to another edition of The Don’t Buy List! It’s been a while since my last issue and I’m sorry. Over the past several months I’ve seen the best minds of my generation — artists! activists! comedians! — destroyed by skincare products (etc).

• Pamela Anderson corrupted her own no-makeup movement by investing in a skincare company

• Marina Abramović created a wellness brand that please God better be a piece of performance art (the reason I haven’t written about this yet is because I am still holding out hope)

• Beyoncé debuted Cécred, another célebrity beauty brand célebrating consumption under the guise of spiritual célf-care

• Bella Hadid seems do be doing a similar thing

• Jennifer Aniston partnered with UberEats so exploited gig workers can deliver her LolaVie hair products to customers’ doorsteps

• Dua Lipa betrayed betrayed me and became a YSL Beauty ambassador

• Martin Short…

Anyway!

In this issue: Anti-aging as generational trauma! Broccoli as a beauty tool! Trump sells perfume! Chocolate syrup hair! We still need the CROWN Act! Skincare brands for reproductive justice! Accessories for lip gloss! Young divorcées! Stanley Cups! Plastic surgeons <3 Ozempic! Forgetting what skin looks like! And more!

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“Toxic Beauty Standards Can Be Passed Down,” writes Alexandra D’Amour in a New York Times op-ed. Presenting evidence that adolescent children are already worried about wrinkles and riffing on my concept of the Serum Mom — beauty culture’s answer to the Almond Mom — she suggests that “it’s time for us to consider our moral obligation to minimizing damage for the next generation.” D’Amour interviewed me for the piece, but most of my comments didn’t make the final cut, so I’m sharing the interview here for Unpublishable subscribers. I told D’Amour: