The Don't Buy List: Beauty Burnout, 'The Bachelor,' & Glow-bal Warming
Plus, "plastic neutrality."
Hello, dewy dust bunnies, and welcome to another edition of the The Don’t Buy List! Last week, I made my peace with death after Oscar Meyer released what can only be described as the sixth seal of skincare, a surefire sign of the aesthetic apocalypse: bologna-inspired sheet masks.
Read more about why sheet masks do not make for good merch or good skincare here and here. (Not to brag but I won an environmental journalism award for the second link; please pay attention to me!!!)
Anyway!
Bloomberg published an article on “The Rise, Fall and Curious Revival of Vaseline” in the skincare space. I started my period the day it came out and that is the ONLY reason it made me cry. The only reason!! Ugh. It’s just so fucking depressing. (Explanations here, here, and here.) How is a fossil fuel byproduct the number one beauty product in 2022??? How is nobody talking about how “slugging” wouldn’t be necessary if we stopped fucking decimating our skin barriers with acids and retinoids and everything else??? The petroleum industry has been compromising the epidermis with airborne pollution particles since 1859. It is the worst thing to ever happen to human skin. (And, you know, humans. Particularly the poor, people of color, and the entire Global South.) Divesting from petrochemicals and protesting climate change counts as skincare; slugging with what Bloomberg rightfully refers to as “crude oil sludge” does not. I don’t know what else to say! Your glow is not more important than global warming!!! You know what? I’m gonna stop calling it “slugging” and start calling it “glow-bal warming.” Maybe that’ll help get the message across. (As always, my frustration is directed at the influencers/editors/dermatologists/people in positions of power responsible for promoting and popularizing petroleum jelly as the planet melts, not individual consumers.)
Here’s some happy news, though: Aging isn’t real! According to this Instagram graphic from Ava Beauty/dermatologists everywhere, the “reasons your skin is aging” include: