Ugly Republicans & Night Cream For Cat Ladies
The Don't Buy List: Issue #78
Hello and welcome to another edition of THE DON’T BUY LIST.
A few months ago I was part of a debate about self-optimization at the HowTheLightGetsIn philosophy festival in Wales. I argued against it, on the basis that what we call self is often appearance, and what we call optimization is often an unrealistic and oppressive ideal of perfection that is not useful to the project of human flourishing. Someone in the audience asked something like, “What about athletes optimizing their bodies for sports?” I didn’t have much of an answer (I’m not a sports person), but I said my concern was that culturally, we’re at a point where optimization for athletics isn’t enough — where the pressure to optimize never ends. I think we’re witnessing this at the Paris Olympics.
What happens when a female boxer’s performance in the ring isn’t matched by her performance of “femininity”? What about when Olympic athletes aren’t paid for the time and effort they put into their craft, and must make a living selling girls Glossier instead? Why am I seeing more comments about Simone Biles’ makeup and Ilona Maher’s lipstick than their medals (this could be my algorithm, but still)?
Sure, there’s some value in the message that an interest in sports doesn’t preclude an interest in cosmetics. But I wonder if what’s happening right now goes beyond that — if the message it sends is that beauty should be an interest for all; that no woman, no matter her achievements, is exempt from the feminine duty to perform it.
Anyway! Onto the links.
IN THIS ISSUE: Cat lady spon-con! Ugly Republicans! Beauty as an ethical ideal! Botox in D.C.! Victoria Beckham Beauty is a scam! Blake Lively (née Brown) Beauty is boring! Ilana Glazer endorses vaginal deodorant! The Trend Story Industrial Complex! Anal injectables! Unruly pubes! Embryos grown from skin cells! Immortality! & more!
UG-ETHICAL: A new commercial from Democratic group Won't PAC Down portrays MAGA Republicans who want to limit access to abortion, birth control, and IVF as conventionally ugly.
The spot uses “unattractive” features like acne, cold sores, blotchy skin, sweat, yellowed teeth, receding hairlines, and baldness as aesthetic shorthand for conservatism, and implies ugly = bad. This is the liberal equivalent of a recurring Republican talking point, most recently voiced by Vice Presidential candidate J.D. Vance: that women who want reproductive freedom are lonely cat ladies (undesirable, unfuckable, unworthy of human companionship) — a sentiment that echoes “feminists are ugly” (1970s) and “suffragettes are masculine” (1910s). And as always, the conflation doesn’t reflect reality. Plenty of people who want to ban abortion, birth control, IVF, and no-fault divorce are not only conventionally attractive — they’re looksmaxxing.
ALSO: I don’t love Vogue using a politicized “Cat Ladies, Unite!” headline to push Estée Lauder spon-con.
BIPARTISAN BOTOX: “Cosmetic dermatology is on the rise in Washington, D.C.,” Rory Satran writes for the Wall Street Journal.
“Dr. Terrence Keaney, a D.C.-area dermatologist, said that he’s treated politicians for as long as he’s been in practice (12 years now), and demand has only grown. The difference is that now, he said, politicians are more public-facing than ever and generally more active on social media … According to Keaney, nonsurgical procedures like Botox can be a way of projecting strength and health as a leader, along with good hair and makeup for debates and press conferences. He said these signals often work on the voter subconsciously.”
THE GOOD, THE BAD, & THE UGLY: Has anyone articulated beauty as an ethical ideal better than comedian Alan Resnick in Perfectly Imperfect?
“[The internet] recently showed me a video of a very ugly woman and at first, I was very mad watching it... I hated this woman (because she was ugly) but then something amazing happened... She changed herself somehow and became very beautiful... When I saw this my feelings towards the woman changed. Now I felt very positively about the woman.”
Lol.
SCAMMY SPICE: Based on the launch of FeatherBrow from Victoria Beckham Beauty, I’d like to propose that Victoria Beckham is the scammer everyone thinks J. Lo is. My evidence: