I love this essay. It is so smart and right-on. I relate to the questioner because there are times when I see myself in a picture or in a particular mirror and think “Is that really how I look??” And I feel depressed. But you are so right that these are very particular and idiosyncratic versions of an image, not the truth of how we look. I would also emphasize that we live in motion and our attractiveness exists in this active flesh and blood, not a static image. Wouldn’t it be great to get rid of all images and mirrors and only experience our exterior through other people’s real-life eyes and responses to us, and our own and other people’s (welcomed) hands on our bodies?
Especially love this edition of Ask Ugly. So well written, starting with your mom's experience being the subject of a photo, and then ending with the funny tidbit that your mom is actually a photographer! Also, the last couple paragraphs are good guidelines for processing how to feel better when looking at pictures of myself. Thank you.
This is so wonderful, I especially love that last quote from Susan Sontag that didn’t make it into the final edit. I arrived in this world long before the generation-of-the-selfie and find the modern day obsession with photographing our every moment intrusive to the act of experiencing life. I can also report first hand from behind the scenes of film and television that hundreds of hands, hours and machines go into crafting the people we see, even if they have been carefully curated to look 'less than perfect'. Happy (photo-free) Holidays everyone.
i have a viscerally bad reaction to watching videos of myself and have had this since i was a teenager and had to constantly hear my family scream at me (often in public places) to stand up straight and stop slouching etc. im also gaining weight and going through a lot of self-image issues bc of it. really makes me upset how much social interactions come with capturing media. we are looking at ourselves too fucking much
I love this essay. It is so smart and right-on. I relate to the questioner because there are times when I see myself in a picture or in a particular mirror and think “Is that really how I look??” And I feel depressed. But you are so right that these are very particular and idiosyncratic versions of an image, not the truth of how we look. I would also emphasize that we live in motion and our attractiveness exists in this active flesh and blood, not a static image. Wouldn’t it be great to get rid of all images and mirrors and only experience our exterior through other people’s real-life eyes and responses to us, and our own and other people’s (welcomed) hands on our bodies?
This is so helpful. Thank you especially as I’m sure there will be lots of pics taken in the next 10 days
Especially love this edition of Ask Ugly. So well written, starting with your mom's experience being the subject of a photo, and then ending with the funny tidbit that your mom is actually a photographer! Also, the last couple paragraphs are good guidelines for processing how to feel better when looking at pictures of myself. Thank you.
This is so wonderful, I especially love that last quote from Susan Sontag that didn’t make it into the final edit. I arrived in this world long before the generation-of-the-selfie and find the modern day obsession with photographing our every moment intrusive to the act of experiencing life. I can also report first hand from behind the scenes of film and television that hundreds of hands, hours and machines go into crafting the people we see, even if they have been carefully curated to look 'less than perfect'. Happy (photo-free) Holidays everyone.
i have a viscerally bad reaction to watching videos of myself and have had this since i was a teenager and had to constantly hear my family scream at me (often in public places) to stand up straight and stop slouching etc. im also gaining weight and going through a lot of self-image issues bc of it. really makes me upset how much social interactions come with capturing media. we are looking at ourselves too fucking much