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Jun 16, 2022Liked by Jessica DeFino

I recently rewatched the whole Mad Men series and there's a scene where they're doing a focus group interview with the office's female employees about Ponds cold cream. They're asking about beauty rituals and I loved this Megan quote. "I'm of French extraction and my mother has beautiful skin. She never washes her face. She's not dirty. She uses water, but nothing else...She stands at the sink and she runs the water until it's just the perfect temperature, not too hot. And she splashes it on her face and she pats her cheeks with her fingertips." It's like...showing how someone who isn't beholden to American consumerist society/advertising actually didn't need these products, so they have to invent the need for it (the agency ultimately decides that their advertising message is that Ponds cold cream will help you get married).

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OMG that's such a good example. I remember having the same thought watching this episode

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Jun 16, 2022Liked by Jessica DeFino

When I think about society's obsession with beauty culture, I always think about my grandmothers who grew up in the 1940'/50's Italy. They were starving many times and skincare was the farthest from their mind, but I think their skin benefited from not using products. We are all beautiful in our own way and I hate thinking about how society today pressures people to tamper with how we look. Especially in the summertime, I feel less inclined to use beauty products! Natural is best. I'm ready to get "feral" this summer lol

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YES! That's something I think about all the time. Globally and historically, most people *don't* use skincare and their skin has been pretty much fine. People experience so many more issues today now that skincare products are more accessible and widely used.

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Jun 16, 2022Liked by Jessica DeFino

Through moving and redecorating I've inadvertently gone one step further and removed full-length mirrors from my home. Didn't hit me until I finally went on holiday to a hotel with mirrors everywhere. How goddamn unnecessary a distraction! Why waste precious time perceiving your full self as a object in your own private home? I'm not sure I'm ever going back x

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I love this <3

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Jun 16, 2022Liked by Jessica DeFino

My skin doesn't even care much for jojoba oil, Manuka honey masks, or kefir masks at this point. Ends up breaking out each time (my skin has been w r e c k e d, but does make its own sebum still). After several tries and my skin proverbially smacking my hand away, I feel like it's tired of my shit and has become like a meditating guru who chastises me for messing up their concentration. I'm still learning to, as you so poetically say, leave it the fuck alone.

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Yes LYFTFA is the wayyyy!

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Jun 18, 2022Liked by Jessica DeFino

Wow, these are all great comments! Jessica, correct me if I’m wrong (I may have just missed seeing your take), but What are your thoughts on haircare-something I see as another way beauty culture/industry pushes distorted beauty ideals on us. I recently got “lazy” or feral (?) and stopped washing my hair with shampoo-I was also disgusted with the amount of plastic used in regular shampoo bottles.

It took some experimentation, but I decided to use a natural conditioner bar for the dry ends and water most days and rye flower paste for when the roots are very oily. Although I know it’s a sensitive topic; one that’s fraught with a lot of cultural conditioning and also privilege-access to good clean *soft* water, and food resources-rye flour can’t be bought in many stores and food deserts certainly won’t have it-I bought mine online. Also, some people with eczema or psoriasis would dread or skin conditions might not be able to hack this approach. It’s also something a lot of people wouldn’t want to try due to needing to work or facing prejudice.

Interestingly, my ideas on hair have become what some may call “radical” and I no longer see oil in hair as “dirty” “gross” or a ...sin. I go far longer without washing my hair and my dry scalp has pretty much cleared up. Oddly, I see people around me with silicone coated hair and feel it looks “plastic” a bit too shiny and oddly perfect. I’ve seen other “water only” hair washers saying this same thing on forums. Before my journey, plastic, shiny hair was the *ideal* and all I wanted in my hair.

Anyhow, I’m deeply curious to see what you think! Btw, I have straight fine hair that’s normally oily and it’s graying (so it’s oily at the roots by *extra* dry in the gray streaks).

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I always say, the scalp is skin! It operates the same way and you’re definitely onto something there :) I wrote about this more in Allure a couple years ago if you’re interested:

https://www.allure.com/story/why-im-not-washing-my-hair-during-quarantine-covid19/amp

Also: going product-free is often GREAT for people with chronic conditions like eczema and psoriasis (I mean, I did it when I had dermatitis, which is another kind of eczema) because these issues often stem from microbial imbalance, at least partly. Eliminating products allows the microbiome to repopulate and thrive. There is of course social stigma involved; I de-stressed my skin while working in an office and it was horrible -- coworkers asked if I was contagious, we’re hesitant to step into elevators with me, etc. But that’s why I do the work I do to debunk and dismantle beauty standards. Standards & societal expectations so often stand in the way of us making the best decisions for ourselves and our skin! And that shouldn’t have to be the case!!

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Thanks so much for your response!

Oh no! What a horrible experience! I’m sorry you went through that. People are so cruel.

I’m thankful for your work on debunking and dismantling beauty standards! Because of you I’m product free (I’m little squeamish about not wearing a daily SPF, but as you’ve mentioned-spf should be second line of defense, so I’ll be wearing it on beach days, but sticking mostly with hats and seeking shade, on “no sun” days (ie the windowless work cave).

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When I was younger all I used was Ivory Soap. These days I use an oil cleanser from Beautycounter, which I slather on before I shower. I put on some moisturizer once I get out. Done. I wear makeup only occasionally, and I never use foundation. Only sometimes some undereye concealer, a little Boy Brow and some mascara. I've got pretty great skin, and I think my life long minimalism is part of it.

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Yup, you have it figured out for sure. You have beautiful skin <3

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Jun 17, 2022Liked by Jessica DeFino

Back again to say that I started reading/listening to "Clean" by James Hamblin - she mentions it in the newsletter - and it is SO GOOD!! It is a seriously important book that I think anyone would benefit from.

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I'm so glad you're listening to it!!! Life changing honestly.

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That book has absolutely changed my views on cleanliness! I’m currently WOW my hair (water only washing with occasional rye flour shampoo) and experiencing success with it. And I use a lot less soap. It actually works! Way less dry skin!

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Jun 16, 2022Liked by Jessica DeFino

I do a kind of ‘intermittent fasting’ these days… you start being more in tune with when some intervention would be nice, and when not. For a laugh, I recommend John Mayer’s take on it - check out his reply:

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HA! I looove John Mayer. He's been my fave for years.

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https://youtu.be/MYpFuI16W5E - it’s at 3.39 mins, :)

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I'll have you know I landed too early and into the part about his favorite body part, and now I've died laughing so skincare is REALLY irrelevant ❤️😅

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Oh I love that! I must have watched this a dozen times - all his replies kill me, 😂

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Hi Jessica, I wonder if you could do a piece on the skincare aspect of mental health. I suffer from depressive episodes and often my problem isnt too many products -- it's that when i'm in one, i may go days without washing my face, etc. i forget to use products or even take care of my basic hygiene. in that situation skincare and beauty standards hit much harder and often i am persuaded to use products i know i dont need "so i can make up for neglecting my skin". hope that makes sense, idk what your take would be on something like that but i know many people who have the 'laziness' problem that THEN leads to overconsumption in bursts. thanks.

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Wondering! Would this ever apply to deodorant? Body lotions? How does that factor in??

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Yes! This applies to skin all over the body. I wore more in-depth about pits & deodorant here:

https://coveteur.com/2020/04/08/natural-deodorant-benefits/

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Jun 18, 2022Liked by Jessica DeFino

Thanks! I’ve been using super hippie deo (cream, three ingredients) but I wonder if I can go even more feral :) have a great weekend.

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Oh gah, I’d love nothing more than to do this, but I have Hyperhidrosis and just cannot find a anything natural that works. It makes me sad. I wanted to eliminate this one use plastic from my life, but I can’t seem to.

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I am so curious how you cleanse with Manuka honey.. I've tried it and it was a sticky mess that stayed on my skin for hours and hours. What am i doing wrong?

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Whoa! No way should that be happening, there should be no stickiness at all. First, splash your face with warm-ish water, scoop out a fingertip worth of Manuka, massage it into your damp skin for about a minute (it should sort of slide and glide around — not sticky feeling), and rinse thoroughly with water after.

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Everyone's body responds differently. Accutane works by damaging your sebaceous glands so they produce less oil. For some people this is temporary and for others it can be permanent. I was on Accutane in my late teens and my sebaceous function has never been the same, so I still have chronically dry skin. Spiro essentially masks hormone imbalance temporarily, so when you stop taking Spiro, your hormonal acne will likely come back because the underlying hormonal imbalance hasn't been addressed (unless you unknowingly addressed it during your time on Spiro via diet or lifestyle, or went through a significant hormonal change like menopause). I would focus less on the "damage" from medications and more on getting to know your skin, as it is right now, in order to determine where it needs support.

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Also I will say: Hormonal acne is not a skin issue, it's a hormone issue!! An endocrinologist or some sort of holistic hormone health practitioner would be a much better bet than a derm here.

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