Read the first installment of my monthly column at The Guardian — plus, exclusive advice for Unpublishable readers.
"Anti-ageing is a disappointing pursuit. It has been since Ponce de Léon went searching for the Fountain of Youth and found Florida." LMFAOOOOOOO
Love love love this. And I also had trouble finding an under eye concealer that didn't create the same problems mentioned and then said to myself "oh right, I don't actually care about these dark circles." Have to love a completely free solution to a problem that doesn't even matter.
I was doing my nightly Apple News doom scroll and saw a headline about should I get botox, clicked it while thinking “Jessica Defino would have a field day with this, can’t wait to read this shit” and then was DELIGHTED to realize it was you!! Excellent column, I’m glad it’s reaching masses!
Want to add the risk of severe adverse effects resulting from breast implants, one of them being the potential to develop breast implant illness, a little-researched collection of chronic symptoms that can appear after someone gets boob job. Researches now believe it may be caused by a biofilm that can develop on the implants themselves!
regardless of all the risks of the implants, even if everything goes perfectly you have to get them redone every 10 years or so. Going under general anesthesia is a risk in itself! and all the money and trauma to bodily tissue!
all for boob aesthetic :(
Well, this is brilliant!! And will hopefully lead to more people finding your Substack and subscribing! Congrats!!
Loved the column Jessica! And i'm sorry to hijack this space but I don't use social media and i need to scream into the empathetic void about a link (https://www.thecut.com/article/makeup-shaming-love-is-blind.html) this + the fawning comments make me want to screech! how is it empowering to put hundreds of dollars of petroleum product all over your face. Obviously the guy is a lech but the reaction to that isn't blindly supporting her, it's actually thinking deeply about the industries we fund and systems of power we engage in. Applying the 'my body my choice' rhetoric to makeup/skincare/'beauty' makes my stomach turn honestly.
Great article in The Guardian. I appreciate the power of your humor along side the pull-no-punches facts and reality you do not shy away from. It makes for a powerful message.
The Ponce de Léon reference is gold! Congrats on your Guardian column!
AMAZING!!!! Thank you thank you so much for all your hard work, I’m so thankful for it and feel so affirmed by it.
Excited to see this in the wild! The Guardian is lucky to have you.
"Sentient Snapchat filters" is such a funny, delightful-yet-also-creepy phrase.
WOOO! Congrats Jessica❤️❤️
I love everything you write and I love the existential direction it keeps heading. I've gone through a similar issue with my breasts. The way I got out of it was this. I realized my motivation for agonizing over it was the fear of not being loved by a man. Then I realized why TF would I want to be with a man who gave a shit what my boobs looked like. Once I realized that, I knew that I had to love and accept them myself, to ensure no one else could make me feel inferior about how they've changed. Basically it's like putting the teenage boy that lives inside of you to rest. I feel like the dismantling of beauty culture just comes down to America needing to grow up. We need to grow up and realize chasing the "Fountain of Youth" is just an immature pursuit. Idk about you but living forever (as an immature prick) sounds awful af.
And TIL stretch marks are “warrior marks” or “earned stripes”?! 🙉 Like we’re in some fruitless war against aging so these are our credentials?!? Make it stop!
Your article is fantastic! Looking forward to more!!!
YES YES YES!