10 Comments

If you are an asshole, you are my favorite one. Keep at it.

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Jan 4, 2022Liked by Jessica DeFino

I respect your integrity and your ideas really resonate with me.

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author

Thank you 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

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founding

Many people will call you a judgemental asshole if you point out that their behaviour does not align with their stated values, because that bruises the rosy egoic version of ourselves we have, and rather than bring their behaviour in line with their values they "shoot the messenger", you're the "bad" person for "making them feel bad". This is why people are so quick to call you a hypocrite, they want to say, "see you do it too", to feel better about themselves. People are desperate for products and the things we buy to speak to who we are and our values, rather than our behaviour, 'cause that takes more work.

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I read all of your pieces and I do feel confronted by them. I love it. You’re reminding me what the truth is, under what I’ve been “sold.” The pitch looks like pink buttercream, but it’s full of arsenic. In other words--you slap my face to keep me from going back for seconds. Don’t stop. The love is obvious.

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Haters gonna hate. Putting your ideas out there and getting criticized is exceptionally difficult and I applaud you for doing it!

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Nah, you’re not an ahole. Things have really gotten different over the years and I’m not entirely sure what happened. The discovery that sex sells and the ad business ran with it in every sector. Cars, liquor, tobacco. Two of the three were outlawed for print or tv ads for a long while with good reason. T

Your careful divisions of product and person are brilliant and spot on. You are fighting a fundamental dishonesty in the business. It’s a worthy battle and I think the tide in part is in your favor.

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As you grow you learn. As you grow you’re also pummeled by SO MUCH GODDAM ADVERTISING from every source of sight and sound you encounter the jingles become ear worms, the slogans are vernacular and then you find yourself robotically reaching for a product that you’d never have even thought about 6 months ago. We must force our brain to recognize and reject the hyperbole in advertising (seems redundant, no?)-about anything, pans, tape, toothpaste... but especially beauty products. The entire message is mainly about feels. But how does it really make you feel? Stop and examine it before you shell out ungodly amounts of money for yet another mascara, blush or moisturizer.

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If someone calls you an asshole in this domain, you are probably doing something right!! I really want you to take a look at this product Bare Hands (barehands.us) if you have not already. The core idea is maintaining natural nails at home, rejecting the idea that beauty should exist “for fleeting moments after the salon visit.” After spending countless $$ and time sitting on my duff in salons, I have made the rather affordable plunge and am loving it! It is unbelievable to me how simple the product is, and I do love the results. However part of me wonders if this is just a new gimmick and I am really curious for your thoughts.

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So awesome!

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