Makeup As Meditation, Skincare As 'Girl Therapy'
The latest installment of Ask Ugly is here.
The next installment of Ask Ugly, my monthly beauty advice column for the Guardian, is here!
A preview:
Hi Ugly,
I’ve been obsessed with makeup and beauty products for years and have read a lot (and seen a lot of TikToks) about how a beauty routine can be a form of meditation or mindfulness. I felt that way for a really long time.
Lately, I’m realizing that even when I do my relaxing eight-step skincare ritual every night and have my little mental health morning setup with makeup and coffee – “girl therapy” – I do not feel relaxed or mentally well most of the time. (Not in a “seek treatment” way, but in a general malaise way.) Am I doing it wrong? Do you think makeup can ever be a therapeutic practice or mindfulness tool?
– Girl Therapy Isn’t Working
The line between the beauty and wellness industries has blurred to the point of nonexistence. It is from this place of nothingness that we get the concept of “makeup as meditation”. Maybe it’s the beauty industry’s attempt to monetize mindfulness, or maybe it’s the industry’s attempt to sabotage mindfulness, lest customers rise above beauty culture brainwashing.1
Whatever the origin, it’s everywhere now. See: How to turn your beauty routine into a meditation session, How applying makeup can serve as a built-in form of daily meditation, or “Makeupfulness” is where makeup and mindfulness merge.
Makeupfulness. MAKEUPFULNESS? It does not surprise me that this is not working for you, Girl Therapy.
For one, meditation is the search for the unconditioned self, and beauty products are often, in modern contexts, tools of the conditioned self. When you “meditate” by looking in the mirror, hyperfocusing on your hyperpigmentation and covering it up with Glossier Stretch Concealer, you’re essentially acting out your social conditioning – and methodically internalizing beauty standards.
The rest of my answer includes:
the reason “meditation” through makeup nets no stress relief whatsoever
how makeup can be a pure, divine, artistic expression of the self — and why that is still not “meditation” (words mean things!!)
the difference between a ritual and a skincare routine
how the appearance ideals embedded in skincare products can increase stress levels
why “girl therapy” is a more likely a path to needing therapy
how actual mindfulness can help you divest from beauty culture
how actual mindfulness — plot twist! — literally strengthens the skin barrier, thereby reducing your “need” for skincare products
Click through to the Guardian to read the whole thing (and if you decide to share it with friends or on social media or whatever, please share it via the Guardian link).
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Another theory that didn’t make the final edit: Maybe it’s a construct born of consumers — a subconscious defense mechanism to keep our familiar, mindless behaviors safe from the growing mindfulness movement (without feeling left out of the mindfulness movement).
I loved this one, I think it cut particularly deep.
You can never have too much of what you don't really want.
I think of drinking coffee when you're thirsty for water and convincing yourself the problem is just that the coffee isn't high quality enough, or there's too much water in the coffee and you should drink espresso, or that the only reliable way to get water is by buying coffee, or maybe if you really embraced a positive mindful attitude towards coffee it wouldn't leave you feeling so bad, or maybe you should fight back against mainstream strong black coffee culture and try this refreshing organic iced coffee instead.
I also think of accounts I've read by people who self-harmed for so long they grew to ritualise it, and the parallels in your writing sent a shudder of recognition.
I think of accounts by women who believed that love was like getting nothing but endless cups of perfectly swirled expensive cappuccinos and wondering why they were felt like they were dying inside.
I think the topic of makeup/beauty as it relates to wellness is so muddled because it asks us to confront our relationship with consumerism in general. so much of what we buy is self-interpreted/justified as a representation of the self and any sniff of criticism at that relationship can feel like a personal attack. but it's really like a once you see it you can't unsee it sort of situation. the more I learn about beauty culture and its ties with capitalism, it's hard not to see advertisement as a form of escapism/cope about the fact of one's mortality. "maybe if I buy enough things I can stave off the threat of death, the last one didn't work, but maybe this one will. I didn't feel better with my last purchase in a sustained way like I was promised, but maybe I just have to try again." these are the sort of thought spirals I find myself in when I buy into the belief that products will save me.