Reading this as a black person, I think the point not said or missed is that most yt women are operating under the yt supremacist ideal of femininity and the concessions you make to fit in that mold. Black & POC do make similar concessions but the goal is to lessen violence as opposed to vying for more privilege under yt supremacy. All that being said…braces & frying the crap out of my hair đŸ«
Reading this as a black person, I think the point not said or missed is that most yt women are operating under the yt supremacist ideal of femininity and the concessions you make to fit in that mold. Black & POC do make similar concessions but the goal is to lessen violence as opposed to vying for more privilege under yt supremacy. All that being said…braces & frying the crap out of my hair đŸ«
Yes. As a tall, thin, blonde, white woman, I have thought about this so much in terms more of my privilege than negotiation. I know that I can opt out of so much without suffering consequences because of the body I am in. I feel like having that privilege comes with a responsibility to opt out of a lot. I like presenting as a "pretty" woman in a dress with very hairy legs and armpits. I have the privilege of fucking with people in subtle ways without any danger to me, so I feel like I should take it.
This is very interesting. I *like* presenting as just...pretty, but also feel a sense of moral obligation to fuck with people’s expectations as a thin, blonde, white woman--so I often keep my legs and armpits hairy (especially in very traditionally feminine contexts like ballet classes). I don’t really like it but it feels like a small good thing I can do?
Tucking my contribution under yours because it's related. I'm an extremely average white woman. I don't actually have to participate in beauty culture as long as I'm wearing the right class signifiers? That's my negotiation; owning an expensive coat and watch. It's so insultingly easy once you acknowledge how much you already conform to white supremacist ideals.
This. My mom (a dental hygienist) put sealants and veneers on me when I was pretty young -- much of the dental work I received was free because she used my mouth for her training to learn how to do such procedures. As a result I have "rich person teeth" that don't fit my actual background. That plus thinness and whiteness mean people receive me favorably almost no matter what I wear or how I style myself. It's absurd how arbitrary these things are and how little work has to be put in to conform if you're in an already privileged category.
Thank you for pointing this out. I'm white and didn't think of this, and now I'm gutted (which I think is appropriate). I try but fear I will never fully comprehend the full breadth and depth of my white privilege, so thank you for helping me see a little further.
Yes, 100%, excellent point, and one that I've attempted to flesh out in other pieces as well. For white women "internalized beauty culture" is more often internalized dominance, and the "empowerment" we feel from participating is literal power over others. Thank you for adding this to the conversation!!!
Reading this as a black person, I think the point not said or missed is that most yt women are operating under the yt supremacist ideal of femininity and the concessions you make to fit in that mold. Black & POC do make similar concessions but the goal is to lessen violence as opposed to vying for more privilege under yt supremacy. All that being said…braces & frying the crap out of my hair đŸ«
"Writes Things Missed". Yep. Thank you.
Yes. As a tall, thin, blonde, white woman, I have thought about this so much in terms more of my privilege than negotiation. I know that I can opt out of so much without suffering consequences because of the body I am in. I feel like having that privilege comes with a responsibility to opt out of a lot. I like presenting as a "pretty" woman in a dress with very hairy legs and armpits. I have the privilege of fucking with people in subtle ways without any danger to me, so I feel like I should take it.
This is very interesting. I *like* presenting as just...pretty, but also feel a sense of moral obligation to fuck with people’s expectations as a thin, blonde, white woman--so I often keep my legs and armpits hairy (especially in very traditionally feminine contexts like ballet classes). I don’t really like it but it feels like a small good thing I can do?
Tucking my contribution under yours because it's related. I'm an extremely average white woman. I don't actually have to participate in beauty culture as long as I'm wearing the right class signifiers? That's my negotiation; owning an expensive coat and watch. It's so insultingly easy once you acknowledge how much you already conform to white supremacist ideals.
This. My mom (a dental hygienist) put sealants and veneers on me when I was pretty young -- much of the dental work I received was free because she used my mouth for her training to learn how to do such procedures. As a result I have "rich person teeth" that don't fit my actual background. That plus thinness and whiteness mean people receive me favorably almost no matter what I wear or how I style myself. It's absurd how arbitrary these things are and how little work has to be put in to conform if you're in an already privileged category.
Thank you for pointing this out. I'm white and didn't think of this, and now I'm gutted (which I think is appropriate). I try but fear I will never fully comprehend the full breadth and depth of my white privilege, so thank you for helping me see a little further.
Yes, 100%, excellent point, and one that I've attempted to flesh out in other pieces as well. For white women "internalized beauty culture" is more often internalized dominance, and the "empowerment" we feel from participating is literal power over others. Thank you for adding this to the conversation!!!