As an Asian American woman in a very white area, I grew up feeling like I was inherently not pretty. I have always been thin, had clear skin, etc, but I felt like these things didn't matter, because I lacked the essential building blocks of attractiveness (i.e. whiteness). I didn't know any "beautiful" women who had my large face, small…
As an Asian American woman in a very white area, I grew up feeling like I was inherently not pretty. I have always been thin, had clear skin, etc, but I felt like these things didn't matter, because I lacked the essential building blocks of attractiveness (i.e. whiteness). I didn't know any "beautiful" women who had my large face, small eyes, and straight hair, so I assumed that it was simply impossible for me to be attractive. For me, this negotiation became more about sexual currency (being f*ckable), since I saw few or no paths towards "becoming" better looking. I realize this is all EXTREMELY sad and screwed up as an adult, but it's something I look back on as a teenager and wish I had had a better vocabulary for what I was feeling.
"I have always been thin, had clear skin, etc, but I felt like these things didn't matter, because I lacked the essential building blocks of attractiveness (i.e. whiteness)." Wow.
I have felt/seen/thought about this often from the other side. I think many other white women do on some level. I have so many swimming, swirling thoughts about this, and colonialism, and white supremacist patriarchy, and white women as like the "middle managers of oppression" (thanks, Micheal Hobbes), but I can't put them into coherent words.
So, I'll just say that "the essential building blocks of attractiveness (i.e. whiteness)" could be a dissertation topic and, sending you so much love.
As an Asian American woman in a very white area, I grew up feeling like I was inherently not pretty. I have always been thin, had clear skin, etc, but I felt like these things didn't matter, because I lacked the essential building blocks of attractiveness (i.e. whiteness). I didn't know any "beautiful" women who had my large face, small eyes, and straight hair, so I assumed that it was simply impossible for me to be attractive. For me, this negotiation became more about sexual currency (being f*ckable), since I saw few or no paths towards "becoming" better looking. I realize this is all EXTREMELY sad and screwed up as an adult, but it's something I look back on as a teenager and wish I had had a better vocabulary for what I was feeling.
"I have always been thin, had clear skin, etc, but I felt like these things didn't matter, because I lacked the essential building blocks of attractiveness (i.e. whiteness)." Wow.
I have felt/seen/thought about this often from the other side. I think many other white women do on some level. I have so many swimming, swirling thoughts about this, and colonialism, and white supremacist patriarchy, and white women as like the "middle managers of oppression" (thanks, Micheal Hobbes), but I can't put them into coherent words.
So, I'll just say that "the essential building blocks of attractiveness (i.e. whiteness)" could be a dissertation topic and, sending you so much love.