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This thread is just chock full of realness and vulnerability. Thanks for all of your posts, folks. When I hit 50 last year I definitely began noticing the “invisibility” that seems to come with it, especially after ditching Botox, Kybella, makeup, heels, etc. over the past few years. I, too, would negotiate - I could be plus size/fat if my wardrobe was edited and expensive. I could let my grays grow in if I had false eyelashes for a doe-eyed look, and on and on. But then I did a little experiment and started divesting little by little and looking at how much money I was saving not literally buying into the beauty machine. And I’m now saving for a house (can’t wait to experience home ownership for the first time as a middle aged person!) and planning trips to see friends and family. I’m happier.

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congratulations!! yes the money saved is so real. and i remind myself--like i was not looking pretty for me. i can’t see what i look like as i move through the world! so i’ll divest and spend money on things that are actually For Me. Good luck saving!!

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