"Beautiful is not a feeling" is a really important point! It reminds me of an article you linked recently that pointed out how often people say "I feel fat," even though "fat" isn't a feeling either. I think everyone as a whole can benefit from interrogating these verbal "shortcuts" and what we're really saying when we say phrases that have been repeated so much that we stop thinking about them. Like, "because I'm worth it" -- worth what, exactly? Why?
Yesss. Interrogation — just being curious about what we actually feel and what we actually think, rather than mindlessly repeating our cultural conditioning — is key!!
I just heard Cassandra Grey on Gloss Angeles predicting meditation will be a big trend next year and actually quoting The Body Keeps the Score--"You end up with the face you deserve"--and IMMEDIATELY thought of this Stress Sells piece!
“Next: Beautiful is not a feeling, so what do you actually want to feel when you say you want to “feel beautiful”? Do you want to feel seen, accepted, validated, loved? “
As an esthetican, it took me years of working with women to realize that this is what they were seeking. They do all the beauty things, but what kept them coming back for my services was much less my expertise than the feelings of being ‘seen, accepted, validated, loved’.
"Beautiful is not a feeling" is a really important point! It reminds me of an article you linked recently that pointed out how often people say "I feel fat," even though "fat" isn't a feeling either. I think everyone as a whole can benefit from interrogating these verbal "shortcuts" and what we're really saying when we say phrases that have been repeated so much that we stop thinking about them. Like, "because I'm worth it" -- worth what, exactly? Why?
Looking forward to more of the chats!
Yesss. Interrogation — just being curious about what we actually feel and what we actually think, rather than mindlessly repeating our cultural conditioning — is key!!
Love this, and excited for Substack to include Android in their chat function so I can join in!
Me tooooooo!
This is fantastic. Thank you. x
Thank YOU for reading xx
I just heard Cassandra Grey on Gloss Angeles predicting meditation will be a big trend next year and actually quoting The Body Keeps the Score--"You end up with the face you deserve"--and IMMEDIATELY thought of this Stress Sells piece!
Oh my GOD I need to listen to this and write about it / rage about it
I hope you do! The strategic attempt on to implant dissonance regarding what constitutes self care in that episode has really stayed with me.
Ooh, is this the chat? Am I in the right place? Or...as usual, have I mucked it up?
It is not! The chat is accessible within the Substack app — instructions on how to access it are in this post:
https://jessicadefino.substack.com/p/im-cold-makeup
“Next: Beautiful is not a feeling, so what do you actually want to feel when you say you want to “feel beautiful”? Do you want to feel seen, accepted, validated, loved? “
As an esthetican, it took me years of working with women to realize that this is what they were seeking. They do all the beauty things, but what kept them coming back for my services was much less my expertise than the feelings of being ‘seen, accepted, validated, loved’.