I thought of this substack immediately a few months back. A local plastic surgeon had an advert with the slogan "you can buy beautiful". Or something nearly like that. "April always hated her nose and didn't do anything. Sally changed her nose and now she is beautiful. You can buy it, too"
Not verbatim, I cannot remember the exact words. However, it was 100% along those lines.
I was horrified! I already have severe issues with how I perceive my appearance. I was furious.
I kept trying to find it to share, but I could not remember what it was called.
Unsurprisingly searching "plastic surgery ugly beautiful" did not help.
Something that isn’t always captured in our definition of ‘beauty’ is hygiene. I suffered from acne my entire life and can see how people reacted to me with and ‘without’ it (thanks, accutane). But (!) I also experienced a sense of disgust at the sight of acne. It felt bad and contradictory. “How could I have acne but remain disgusted by it?” Beauty being in the eye of the beholder might be more of an evolutionary aversion to disease/infection and preference of youth and fertility. Rather than a moral stance someone is taking.
I mean I have a lot of thoughts about the natural justifications for the beauty standard, deep cultural messages that inspire disgust instead of hard-coded evolutionary things, etc that are for another time, but for now I would challenge this pov by mentioning that a preference for youth & fertility would not necessary include disgust for acne. Two huge times for acne are during puberty and throughout the menstrual cycle. Acne is often associated *with* sexual maturity and fertility windows :)
I should’ve nuanced my comment by saying that I also believe cultural messages form our idea of beauty. So, very much aligned with the motion you put forward in your post!
I simply wanted to highlight that, just like a fear response, the brain’s drive to avoid infection/disease (for example) can be strong. Same goes for the selection for younger features.
It’s not logical, but it happens.
It happens in a split second and requires work to be ‘rationalised’ out of us.
This progress is not going to happen as a result of platitudes or ‘brute-forcing’ positivity. As you point out, too.
Rather, through education around these biological tendencies. To expose them gently to the irrationality, I’d say :)
Re: "dressing in a way that disguises a certain weight or shape"
I'm currently 5'8" (173 cm) and 170ish lbs. I've worn a European 36 my entire life. At 18 I was 5'8" and 118 lbs. Friends teased that I had no butt because the EU 36 was so baggy on me. I like that baggy fit. Over the years, the EU 36 felt tighter than I liked but the fit looks (more) acceptable to society and i just mentally couldn't bring myself to size up. Honestly, it was probably fatphobia. The BMI chart basically told me EU36/ 130 lbs was my healthy weight. So I lazily forced myself to keep in that size Because I wanted to be healthy/not let myself go. (yes, i now know bmi is bs, sizes are arbitrary, yadyada)
Now after 2 kids, I'm literally down to 1 pair of sweats that fit. My last 2 pairs of EU36 jeans will likely rip during my next bike ride.
I feel/know I get away with wearing jeans and a Black tshrir every day because I'm skinny and young. But lately, i see myself in shop windows and I'm all belly no breast and i strongly consider getting on a diet or buying "more flattering" clothes even if they don't match my lifestyle and esthetic.
Le sigh. Now it's time for me to practice the body positive /neutral messages I've been sharing with my friends. I'm not getting on a diet. I have a good(ish) relationship with food. I don't wanna wear tight pants that cut off circulation to my nuts just cause it makes my butt "look goodt"
I lol’d at the title of this article 😭
:)
I thought of this substack immediately a few months back. A local plastic surgeon had an advert with the slogan "you can buy beautiful". Or something nearly like that. "April always hated her nose and didn't do anything. Sally changed her nose and now she is beautiful. You can buy it, too"
Not verbatim, I cannot remember the exact words. However, it was 100% along those lines.
I was horrified! I already have severe issues with how I perceive my appearance. I was furious.
I kept trying to find it to share, but I could not remember what it was called.
Unsurprisingly searching "plastic surgery ugly beautiful" did not help.
sadly very common marketing language!!
Something that isn’t always captured in our definition of ‘beauty’ is hygiene. I suffered from acne my entire life and can see how people reacted to me with and ‘without’ it (thanks, accutane). But (!) I also experienced a sense of disgust at the sight of acne. It felt bad and contradictory. “How could I have acne but remain disgusted by it?” Beauty being in the eye of the beholder might be more of an evolutionary aversion to disease/infection and preference of youth and fertility. Rather than a moral stance someone is taking.
I mean I have a lot of thoughts about the natural justifications for the beauty standard, deep cultural messages that inspire disgust instead of hard-coded evolutionary things, etc that are for another time, but for now I would challenge this pov by mentioning that a preference for youth & fertility would not necessary include disgust for acne. Two huge times for acne are during puberty and throughout the menstrual cycle. Acne is often associated *with* sexual maturity and fertility windows :)
I should’ve nuanced my comment by saying that I also believe cultural messages form our idea of beauty. So, very much aligned with the motion you put forward in your post!
I simply wanted to highlight that, just like a fear response, the brain’s drive to avoid infection/disease (for example) can be strong. Same goes for the selection for younger features.
It’s not logical, but it happens.
It happens in a split second and requires work to be ‘rationalised’ out of us.
This progress is not going to happen as a result of platitudes or ‘brute-forcing’ positivity. As you point out, too.
Rather, through education around these biological tendencies. To expose them gently to the irrationality, I’d say :)
Re: "dressing in a way that disguises a certain weight or shape"
I'm currently 5'8" (173 cm) and 170ish lbs. I've worn a European 36 my entire life. At 18 I was 5'8" and 118 lbs. Friends teased that I had no butt because the EU 36 was so baggy on me. I like that baggy fit. Over the years, the EU 36 felt tighter than I liked but the fit looks (more) acceptable to society and i just mentally couldn't bring myself to size up. Honestly, it was probably fatphobia. The BMI chart basically told me EU36/ 130 lbs was my healthy weight. So I lazily forced myself to keep in that size Because I wanted to be healthy/not let myself go. (yes, i now know bmi is bs, sizes are arbitrary, yadyada)
Now after 2 kids, I'm literally down to 1 pair of sweats that fit. My last 2 pairs of EU36 jeans will likely rip during my next bike ride.
I feel/know I get away with wearing jeans and a Black tshrir every day because I'm skinny and young. But lately, i see myself in shop windows and I'm all belly no breast and i strongly consider getting on a diet or buying "more flattering" clothes even if they don't match my lifestyle and esthetic.
Le sigh. Now it's time for me to practice the body positive /neutral messages I've been sharing with my friends. I'm not getting on a diet. I have a good(ish) relationship with food. I don't wanna wear tight pants that cut off circulation to my nuts just cause it makes my butt "look goodt"