I HAVE BEEN SAYING THIS FOR ALL MY LIFE! And people just come back at me with "I do it for me. I like it." But they weren't getting it, that even THAT, the WHY it is a thing you would even THINK of to do for yourself, is based in the male gaze.
Jessica, this is so refreshing to read.
I am two years out of coming out as nonbinary. I have always struggled with wearing make up. I would put it on for fancy dinners out, or dressing up for holidays, but generally I couldn't be bothered. I didn't do anything for me. I'm 53 now and UGH, that "aging" thing is on my back, and I have started wearing make up - but its easier because 1) realizing who I am (nonbinary) on the inside makes it easier to present myself however I want on the outside and 2) I found a make up routine that doesn't make me feel LESS like myself. It doesn't make me feel MORE like me, but not less and 3) I am doing it for everyone else, because I need to compete in this world as an aging person in a female body. The key is, I'm doing for them. Not for me. And I know that. Yes, it can be fun. Yes my face looks "better" with make up on according to Standard Beauty Expectations. But at the end of the day, if I didn't feel the need to, I wouldn't (and often go days where I don't.)
So, thank you for putting it in words.
Adding: You are the first and only person I've ever followed (and paid money to!) that speaks about beauty, beauty products, and skincare. You write the things I've been waiting to hear all my life. Thank you so much.
I HAVE BEEN SAYING THIS FOR ALL MY LIFE! And people just come back at me with "I do it for me. I like it." But they weren't getting it, that even THAT, the WHY it is a thing you would even THINK of to do for yourself, is based in the male gaze.
Jessica, this is so refreshing to read.
I am two years out of coming out as nonbinary. I have always struggled with wearing make up. I would put it on for fancy dinners out, or dressing up for holidays, but generally I couldn't be bothered. I didn't do anything for me. I'm 53 now and UGH, that "aging" thing is on my back, and I have started wearing make up - but its easier because 1) realizing who I am (nonbinary) on the inside makes it easier to present myself however I want on the outside and 2) I found a make up routine that doesn't make me feel LESS like myself. It doesn't make me feel MORE like me, but not less and 3) I am doing it for everyone else, because I need to compete in this world as an aging person in a female body. The key is, I'm doing for them. Not for me. And I know that. Yes, it can be fun. Yes my face looks "better" with make up on according to Standard Beauty Expectations. But at the end of the day, if I didn't feel the need to, I wouldn't (and often go days where I don't.)
So, thank you for putting it in words.
Adding: You are the first and only person I've ever followed (and paid money to!) that speaks about beauty, beauty products, and skincare. You write the things I've been waiting to hear all my life. Thank you so much.