31 Comments
May 3, 2023Liked by Jessica DeFino

Jessica once again showing me that my paid subscription is far and beyond the best $ I spend on a newsletter. I live for it. I love you!

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I agree with everything you’ve said here and want my adult girls and granddaughter to be free of all these supposed beauty standards. It is laughable that already Ann Hathaway is being complimented for how well she is aging, at the ripe old age of 40. 🙄. Never mind what she is able to access to achieve that look.

I’ve struggled with body image over the years, and at 64 your articles are giving me the fortitude to resist the temptation to chase after things to try to look younger. It isn’t easy in a world where women are still valued for their looks and are considered hags when they reach a certain age, but I’m so frustrated by how ramped it all is now that I want to set an example for my girls.

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May 3, 2023Liked by Jessica DeFino

Did we just magically forget that long stretch where everyone inexplicably HATED Anne Hathaway? It's true, though, she's not the problem. The collective beauty-rabid culture definitely is.

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"This is some made-up Disney movie messaging. “Beautiful”/young-looking people aren’t inherently good. “Ugly”/old-looking people aren’t inherently bad."

Idea for Disney: since we're all about the reboots now, do a movie celebrating our awesomest Disney villains (Yzma! Ursula!) and actually cast someone old to play them. Not just showing their sympathetic backstory so they can cast someone young and hot (i.e. Emma Stone, Angelina Jolie) to play them! I'd get excited about a live-action Adventures of Yzma and Kronk movie.

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May 3, 2023Liked by Jessica DeFino

oh my god thank you for addressing the Anne Hathaway thing -- I have seen that line floating around about her for a long time. Meanwhile, no one ever acknowledges the era of Hathahate (circa what, 10 years ago?) when writers at BuzzFeed wrote whole stories about how she annoyed them, citing things like -- I shit you not -- her FINGERS.

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May 4, 2023Liked by Jessica DeFino

“Or do they just not care?”

That one.

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May 4, 2023Liked by Jessica DeFino

Chefs kiss of a newsletter thank you

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And she does it again another great 👍 unpublishable Jessica. Thank you.

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It's like how I saw Nicola Coughlan being praised for believably playing characters much younger than her real age

"This is how you age when you don't waste time chasing thinness." She's not thin....But that isnt a moral success. She didn't achieve good karma by not being thin and therefore has the virtue of looking young. Looking young has nothing to do with how good we are.

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The tweet at the end made me think of Gossip Girl (hear me out!!!) and specifically, Nate Archibald. His character is modeled from extremely old money political families. If the show had the same overall plot beats and was made today, Nate would have been taking over a crypto startup or new-age tinged "health" scheme and not a culture-driven publication. Thanks for your work, as always!

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One of the many things I love is that 75% of what you says is SASSY AF (in the best way possible), and maybe 10% is blahblah to my hippie liberal upbringing, the rest I wanna "fact check you on" BUT THAT IS A GOOD THING. It means I am not letting *YOU* be "THE STANDARD" which is literally your point. MUAH! I believe I canceled my other patreon things and you're the only paid thing that gets me intrigued to open my emails.

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It kinda irks me that whenever anyone talks about Anne Hathaway (or ...Vanessa Hudgens, Gillian Jacobs, Emma Watson, Emilia Clarke....) there's commentary about how great their aging.

They literally just have to turn 30, still look conventionally hot, and the dialogue begins. None of these women are old, but as a reader it used to make me feel pressure to age like them and guess how they did it (theres a million articles and product placement about how they did it) and then invest time and money in keeping up.

Anne Hathaway used to just be an actress you either loved or hated, and pretty objectively a talented woman. Now shes a queen because she looks young. I hate this culure.

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I’m getting old and I don’t rule the world and I love it.

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EYEahuasca. gtfouttahere.

thank you!!!

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May 3, 2023·edited May 10, 2023

Re: where do all the beauty products go.

EDIT: I was reading with one eye open and asked a question that was already answered. Leaving comment up because my question and Jess' respond might be helpful to someone.

Pause. The clean beauty girlies say the 'bad chemicals' in traditional skincare cause cancer and disrupt endocrines.

But Rob Robinson is saying it mostly goes nowhere?

Is the middle ground the majority of what you use goes nowhere because skin flakes but daily long term use it builds up?

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I feel like this Anne Hathaway joke comes round every year, and it never feels to smack of icky moral qualities.

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