Cosmetics ≠ Clothing

An interview with Dacy Gillespie of Unflattering.

Beauty should never have been twinned to fashion. So much of our current (mis)understanding of beauty culture, I think, is expressed in the symbol of the fashion magazine’s once-yearly “beauty issue” — a lack of adequate (never mind critical) beauty coverage in the media; the sense that the cosmetic industry is but an accessory to the fashion industry, rather than a separate field with its own history, science, complications, and concerns. Cosmetics ≠ clothing! For example:

• Wearing clothing (primarily) began as a matter of health and safety — a need. It evolved into a method of expression. Wearing cosmetics (primarily) began as a method of expression — a want. Health and wellbeing claims came later as a way to justify the space cosmetics take up in our lives.¹

• Clothing is a layer worn on top of the body, separate from the body; cosmetics meld with, manipulate, and/or infiltrate the actual body.

• As such, cosmetic manipulation of the face and body affects one’s psychological sense of identity, self-worth, connection to others, etc. (the skin is literally wired to the brain!) and one’s physical health/reality (the skin is literally a part of the immune system!) on a level that clothing generally does not.

Which is to say: I have so much fun and find so much value in experimenting with personal style through clothing! And I do see it as somewhat separate from my work re: cosmetics.²

I talked to

Dacy Gillespie

, an anti-diet and weight inclusive personal stylist, about my style for her newsletter, unflattering, today. An excerpt of our interview is below, and you can read the full Q&A here.

Photo credit: Cindy DeFino

Dacy Gillespie: What was your style like when you were a child?

Jessica DeFino (me): I played dress up everyday. I wore the hell out of that My Size Barbie skirt. As I got a little older, like pre-teen and early teen years, I wanted all my outfits to elicit SHOCK and AWE… bright colors, funky shoes, and lots of strange purses. I used to carry around a huge black patent leather purse that had a working clock on the front of it! I had Parcel boombox purses in every color. 

DG: Growing up, what messages were you given about what you should or shouldn’t wear (and from whom or where do you think those messages came)?

JD: One of my earliest fashion memories is getting this grunge-y floral hand-me-down dress from an older girl who lived on my street — this was probably 1996 — and trying to wear it to church one Sunday. My Dad wouldn’t let me wear it and I wouldn’t change, so we both stayed home having a stand-off while my mom took my brothers and sister to church alone. (This is how I remember it, at least.) I guess I learned that clothing is very powerful but also that neither of my Fathers — earthly or heavenly! — approved of my outfits. Later on I learned about “flattering” clothing from What Not To Wear reruns. I got very into 1950s pinup style as a result, since that was the most flattering look for my big chest, wide hips, and relatively small waist. I basically put on a Dita Von Teese costume every day from the ages of 17 to 21. 

DG: How have external pressures to conform to the ideal standard of beauty and the thought of how others view you affected your style?

JD: A better question: How have they not? I guess I've always dressed for others, but to say something about myself. The things I've wanted to communicate about myself have changed over the years, from I'm not like other girls! to Please, I'm begging you, hit on me and show me I'm lovable or at the very least fuckable! to My body is somewhere under this kaftan and I'm not letting you see it because I want you to understand that I am more than a body, I am a vibrant/multidimensional/dynamic human being!

DG: How would you define your current relationship to clothes and style?

JD: I’d prefer to be naked but a muumuu will do.

DG: What makes your style authentic to who you are today?

JD: My current style is kind of bohemian and eccentric and all over the place, which feels appropriate because I don't really know who I am most days (beyond a flesh-bound manifestation of love and stardust). I hate when I read an interview and the subject is like, “I’m very confident in who I am” or something. How? How do all these people know who they are? Enough to be CONFIDENT in it?? I have no clue! Maybe someday I’ll figure it out but also I doubt it… The universe is vast and the possibilities are infinite.

There’s so much more over on Dacy’s newsletter — saggy tits as a style barrier! Mama Cass as a fashion icon! why I abhor basics! pics of my favorite outfits! — and I hope you check it out (along with the rest of her brilliant, rule-breaking fashion writing) here.

1. Of course, there are exceptions.

2. Of course, there are points of overlap.