At around 55 I started losing bone mass in my jaw and my teeth were becoming crowded. I did Invisalign and did not order the last two sets because I did not want my front tooth completely straightened - it had always been a touch overlapping. My dentist argued with me, but there was no way I was giving up my “Ali McGraw” teeth. Then I changed dentists. What is identified as a flaw these days really makes me sad.
When I was 13 my dentist tried to pressure me, out of the presence of my parents, into getting braces to close my gap. I asked if it was medically necessary and he said "it would make my life easier." I declined. Still flipping the bird to that guy twenty years later.
I still remember a similar conversation with the dentist as a kid, and my mom cutting off his detailed explanation to ask "Would this be functional or cosmetic?" and a very forceful "well if it's not necessary for her to bite or chew, I'm not interested."
As a teenager I had extensive dental work due to several missing teeth (braces, implants, etc) One pushy prosthodontist was urging me to pursue a particular intervention - I can't remember which, but I remember that the vibe was very much, if you are going to do this why not do THE BEST!? (for several more thousand dollars?)
I remember feeling like I *should* do it, but not really wanting to do it, and not being able to articulate why. I had real difficulty weighing the pros/cons/risks and as a teenager, no real vocabulary to describe or analyze beauty culture.
As I discussed with my father, he said, "As long as your teeth work, everything else is cosmetic." To this day, this has been a clarifying motto in my life!
I did not do what that prosthodontist recommended, and my teeth still work great 30 years later.
Whenever a celebrity endorses a low(er) priced product, my immediate thought is, “Suuuure. I’ll bet they use that.” Jen Aniston comes to mind with Suave, I think it was. I get promoting wearable things like watches or clothes. But beauty products, I am deeply skeptical.
Let’s also acknowledge that for some of us veneers are more than cosmetic. After a bad auto accident my two front teeth (hit the steering wheel) died and turned this weird grey-yellow color. This is not a “flaw” I wanted to embrace so I’m thankful that after 4 years of saving up I could afford 4 veneers (two on top and two on bottom) and my teeth look great and the can now smile and not feel embarrassed by my teeth.
Oh, of course! I had hoped that my intro that noted the rise in veneers being overwhelmingly elective and cosmetic rather than needs-based/reconstructive would make it clear that I'm only commenting on cosmetic interventions. Like Botox, Ozempic, etc, veneers have valid medical uses and I would never (nor am I qualified to) critique those.
"Perfectly imperfect" setting the bar even higher because we can all aspire to "perfectly imperfect". Most of us will never afford that privilege. I know I can't afford a facial, let alone fake teeth and lasers and filling and Botox to become "passing" in the world. I'm too broke and tired to bother.
I had a similar experience reading my local paper. A dentist has a column and also featured a before and after where the difference was so negligible. So much money and discomfort! Seeing Darcey Silva’s natural teeth filed down to Bat Boy teeth and seeing some of the process on TV grossed me out hard.
hi jessica! i love your writing! i have been subscribed to your substack i think two years now? and it has been so mind opening to read your thoughts on this stuff and has really changed my perspective on beauty culture.
one thing from this article that stuck a chord with me is this:
« Studies show people view those who undergo noticeable cosmetic interventions — tanning, Chiclet veneers — as morally inferior. It makes sense that as the U.S. backslides into regressive politics, citizens are regressing too, and adopting the ethical code of a Disney cartoon. »
When I read the first sentence, I interpret that sentiment to be sexist. I can definitely understand the perspective that women who conform to a beauty standard are simultaneously victims of that standard and upholders of it, but I never see anyone calling men who conform to beauty standards unethical.
i have ‘gym bro’ friends who are obsessive about their diet to point of calling it an eating disorder out of fear of getting fat. they track their calories, they restrict their diet to lean beef, protein powder, eggs, and greek yogurt. i know some who drink 400 mg of caffeine in the evening before their work out, and never get enough sleep. They hate leg day and want a bigger upper body, but think it’s annoying when women avoid chest day. These behaviors are completely motivated by a beauty standard, yet no one calls these behaviors unethical. They are detrimental to both mental health and physical health, but I only see them getting applauded, being put on a pedestal, or being viewed as a measure of success. Men who do this cheer each other on and earn each others respect that way, even though women with destructive behaviors motivated by the same thing are severely disrespected for them. It fully seems as though beauty is only correlated with morality as long as it is women who are performing it (or men performing more feminine forms of beauty).
So I was wondering if you could expand on this double standard in your writing? Or address it in some way? I know that you are more specialized in the type of beauty culture that targets women, but if you say that complying to these norms is unethical then I think it would only be fair to include men also (especially when they are almost never held accountable in this way). I don’t think that you meant any harm by this but thought it was something you should consider!!
edit: but to clarify, i’m not trying to say that holding people morally accountable is the solution (although it should be equal). i think self-love/self-care/self-compassion is closer to the solution, and people can definitely go to the gym motivated by that instead
i get what you're saying! i want to clarify i haven't said that performing beauty *is* unethical, just that it's viewed that way according to research. and the things you're pointing to for men are for sure part of the standard of beauty, but are really more body-focused and part of diet culture, which is not my specialty (and also not part of the obvious "cosmetic" work referred to in the survey i mentioned — even if diet/workouts are done for cosmetic reasons, they're generally, culturally viewed as health and fitness pursuits and therefore side-step those judgments). and yes, i specifically focus my work on women and focus it on face/skin rather than body, so if i don't comment on men's body standards it's because that's just not my area of expertise and i don't see myself as qualified to write about it. but i will say that while men are also subject to the *insecurities* of masculine beauty/body culture, they're not as impacted by the *inequalities* of feminine beauty/body culture — i.e., there are plenty of powerful men in politics, business, hollywood, etc who do not conform to this ideal and don't have to in order to be successful. on the other hand, it's very rare to find a successful woman in these fields (particularly public facing) who hasn't had to conform to the baseline ideal of feminine beauty first.
I just had a chance to read this, and I think it is so smart. I really like how you pointed out the different class associations with different kinds of cosmetic interventions and how the “lower” class associations with perfect looking teeth is really about the 10% vs the 1%. I’ve also been thinking a lot recently about cosmetic interventions that feel like “must-do”s in order to be acceptable looking. These must-dos differ by class and cultural environment but they also evolve over time. I wonder if in the future anyone who can afford it will feel like they must get veneers and Botox to feel acceptable in society. I know for many we are already at that point, but there are still pockets of society that reject the need to intervene in this way in the aging process. Will those pockets disappear? I hope not.
Omg I was just thinking about teeth this morning so this is perfect! (Probably think about teeth too much tbh)
"Positive progress toward “embracing one’s flaws” would mean freeing up the resources that are currently tied up in concealing those flaws."
Yesssssss 🔥
The audacity to try to pass off veneers as “embracing” one’s flaws
This part really grabbed me and shook me too!!!
You think about teeth as much as you please!
At around 55 I started losing bone mass in my jaw and my teeth were becoming crowded. I did Invisalign and did not order the last two sets because I did not want my front tooth completely straightened - it had always been a touch overlapping. My dentist argued with me, but there was no way I was giving up my “Ali McGraw” teeth. Then I changed dentists. What is identified as a flaw these days really makes me sad.
I've got one of those front teeth too. Good on ya.
Me too 🥰
When I was 13 my dentist tried to pressure me, out of the presence of my parents, into getting braces to close my gap. I asked if it was medically necessary and he said "it would make my life easier." I declined. Still flipping the bird to that guy twenty years later.
I still remember a similar conversation with the dentist as a kid, and my mom cutting off his detailed explanation to ask "Would this be functional or cosmetic?" and a very forceful "well if it's not necessary for her to bite or chew, I'm not interested."
As a teenager I had extensive dental work due to several missing teeth (braces, implants, etc) One pushy prosthodontist was urging me to pursue a particular intervention - I can't remember which, but I remember that the vibe was very much, if you are going to do this why not do THE BEST!? (for several more thousand dollars?)
I remember feeling like I *should* do it, but not really wanting to do it, and not being able to articulate why. I had real difficulty weighing the pros/cons/risks and as a teenager, no real vocabulary to describe or analyze beauty culture.
As I discussed with my father, he said, "As long as your teeth work, everything else is cosmetic." To this day, this has been a clarifying motto in my life!
I did not do what that prosthodontist recommended, and my teeth still work great 30 years later.
High five, good job teenage you!
Heck yeah, Mom.
Same but my parents gave into that pressure, I lost my gap, I have always regretted it :( this was in the 1980s!
The gap lives on in your heart, even if it is no longer in your teeth *gap solidarity hug*
Whenever a celebrity endorses a low(er) priced product, my immediate thought is, “Suuuure. I’ll bet they use that.” Jen Aniston comes to mind with Suave, I think it was. I get promoting wearable things like watches or clothes. But beauty products, I am deeply skeptical.
Let’s also acknowledge that for some of us veneers are more than cosmetic. After a bad auto accident my two front teeth (hit the steering wheel) died and turned this weird grey-yellow color. This is not a “flaw” I wanted to embrace so I’m thankful that after 4 years of saving up I could afford 4 veneers (two on top and two on bottom) and my teeth look great and the can now smile and not feel embarrassed by my teeth.
Oh, of course! I had hoped that my intro that noted the rise in veneers being overwhelmingly elective and cosmetic rather than needs-based/reconstructive would make it clear that I'm only commenting on cosmetic interventions. Like Botox, Ozempic, etc, veneers have valid medical uses and I would never (nor am I qualified to) critique those.
"Perfectly imperfect" setting the bar even higher because we can all aspire to "perfectly imperfect". Most of us will never afford that privilege. I know I can't afford a facial, let alone fake teeth and lasers and filling and Botox to become "passing" in the world. I'm too broke and tired to bother.
I had a similar experience reading my local paper. A dentist has a column and also featured a before and after where the difference was so negligible. So much money and discomfort! Seeing Darcey Silva’s natural teeth filed down to Bat Boy teeth and seeing some of the process on TV grossed me out hard.
ohhhhh mannnn. We're back on the teeth again! It's the gift that keeps on giving!
hi jessica! i love your writing! i have been subscribed to your substack i think two years now? and it has been so mind opening to read your thoughts on this stuff and has really changed my perspective on beauty culture.
one thing from this article that stuck a chord with me is this:
« Studies show people view those who undergo noticeable cosmetic interventions — tanning, Chiclet veneers — as morally inferior. It makes sense that as the U.S. backslides into regressive politics, citizens are regressing too, and adopting the ethical code of a Disney cartoon. »
When I read the first sentence, I interpret that sentiment to be sexist. I can definitely understand the perspective that women who conform to a beauty standard are simultaneously victims of that standard and upholders of it, but I never see anyone calling men who conform to beauty standards unethical.
i have ‘gym bro’ friends who are obsessive about their diet to point of calling it an eating disorder out of fear of getting fat. they track their calories, they restrict their diet to lean beef, protein powder, eggs, and greek yogurt. i know some who drink 400 mg of caffeine in the evening before their work out, and never get enough sleep. They hate leg day and want a bigger upper body, but think it’s annoying when women avoid chest day. These behaviors are completely motivated by a beauty standard, yet no one calls these behaviors unethical. They are detrimental to both mental health and physical health, but I only see them getting applauded, being put on a pedestal, or being viewed as a measure of success. Men who do this cheer each other on and earn each others respect that way, even though women with destructive behaviors motivated by the same thing are severely disrespected for them. It fully seems as though beauty is only correlated with morality as long as it is women who are performing it (or men performing more feminine forms of beauty).
So I was wondering if you could expand on this double standard in your writing? Or address it in some way? I know that you are more specialized in the type of beauty culture that targets women, but if you say that complying to these norms is unethical then I think it would only be fair to include men also (especially when they are almost never held accountable in this way). I don’t think that you meant any harm by this but thought it was something you should consider!!
edit: but to clarify, i’m not trying to say that holding people morally accountable is the solution (although it should be equal). i think self-love/self-care/self-compassion is closer to the solution, and people can definitely go to the gym motivated by that instead
i get what you're saying! i want to clarify i haven't said that performing beauty *is* unethical, just that it's viewed that way according to research. and the things you're pointing to for men are for sure part of the standard of beauty, but are really more body-focused and part of diet culture, which is not my specialty (and also not part of the obvious "cosmetic" work referred to in the survey i mentioned — even if diet/workouts are done for cosmetic reasons, they're generally, culturally viewed as health and fitness pursuits and therefore side-step those judgments). and yes, i specifically focus my work on women and focus it on face/skin rather than body, so if i don't comment on men's body standards it's because that's just not my area of expertise and i don't see myself as qualified to write about it. but i will say that while men are also subject to the *insecurities* of masculine beauty/body culture, they're not as impacted by the *inequalities* of feminine beauty/body culture — i.e., there are plenty of powerful men in politics, business, hollywood, etc who do not conform to this ideal and don't have to in order to be successful. on the other hand, it's very rare to find a successful woman in these fields (particularly public facing) who hasn't had to conform to the baseline ideal of feminine beauty first.
I just had a chance to read this, and I think it is so smart. I really like how you pointed out the different class associations with different kinds of cosmetic interventions and how the “lower” class associations with perfect looking teeth is really about the 10% vs the 1%. I’ve also been thinking a lot recently about cosmetic interventions that feel like “must-do”s in order to be acceptable looking. These must-dos differ by class and cultural environment but they also evolve over time. I wonder if in the future anyone who can afford it will feel like they must get veneers and Botox to feel acceptable in society. I know for many we are already at that point, but there are still pockets of society that reject the need to intervene in this way in the aging process. Will those pockets disappear? I hope not.